A Confident Trainer?

#lrnchat is a weekly conversation among L&D folks in the Twitterverse that happens twice every Thursday at 11:30 EDT and 8:30 EDT. Yesterday's topic was working in a one-person training department. I was excited to see the kind of response these questions got because I wrote the first four questions. I mention that I wrote these questions not to garner recognition, but because I did not think that they would generate the level of conversation that we had yesterday. You can see the transcript here: http://lrnchat.com/

I know I'm intelligent but when comparing myself to my Twitter peers, I just feel like I can't compete on any level. I think that part of it is because I've only been doing this (educating/training) for 4 years. I think that another reason is my lack of confidence in myself. That's where I see the problem because I'm good at my job.

Maybe the solution is to stop comparing myself to my peers in the great land of Twitter - but it's hard to stop making those comparisons because they are doing things that I aspire to do and they have knowledge that I wish I had.  The decision to stop comparing myself to my peers is a difficult one to make because I push myself to be better when I think about the things they do that I want to do and achieve in my life. And then I think about this: I've only been on Twitter since March 17 this year. I can't imagine all the things that I wouldn't know if I wasn't on Twitter so if I stop making the comparison then I don't grow as much. That doesn't seem like a good solution.

I can say without a doubt that my knowledge has increased since March 17 this year. I don't remember how I stumbled upon #lrnchat or came to follow people like @c4lpt, @janebozarth, or @hjarche and others, but I do know that I find their thoughts, books, and blog posts to be some of the most influential additions to my personal learning. I don't even know if I would be attempting a blog if it weren't for the influence of my PLN on Twitter.

Maybe I shouldn't be saying "Am I Capable" but "I Am Capable". Maybe I can compare with the 'big dogs' of the L&D world. I've got a lot of room for improvement, but changing the attitude from 'am I' to 'I am' seems like a better solution than not striving to achieve new and great things. I guess that's all it is - an attitude adjustment. The title of this post shouldn't be A Confident Trainer? it should be A Confident Trainer. Expanding my PLN has benefited and challenged me more than I realized. Those feelings of inadequacy must just be there to push me further so that I no longer feel inadequate. It's good to never be too sure of one's self anyway, right?

Writing to Get Published

I've changed my attitude about a lot of things lately. It's not if I lose weight, it's when. It's not if I get published, it's when. Noticing a trend? I don't know what happened or when it happened, but I now know that I am capable of doing whatever I put my mind to. How empowering is that knowledge? I mean, it's like a light bulb clicked on in my head.

I have this desire to be published one day. I don't know what kind of publication I want to be published in I just know that I want to see my name in black and white. This article, story, or whatever I write won't be a dissertation either. It needs to be in addition to my dissertation. I want to have fun writing the things that might get published.

I've got a book or article idea that I want to focus on. It's rough and definitely needs refining, but there is a seed of possibility that it could be great. I mean, even if no book publishers wanted to pick it up, I could always publish it myself. The internet is absolutely fabulous because what I write could be total crap but I could still put in book form! I really wouldn't do that because I would always know that I didn't achieve my ultimate goal.

More to come on goals later! Have a wonderful day readers who may or may not exist!

The Beginning of Changing

I don't know exactly what the purpose of this blog is going to be. I think I need an outlet for venting frustrations but I also need a place for writing practice. You see, with all the great things about Facebook and Twitter, I just don't seem to have a space online where I can just write whatever. There are too many family members on Facebook for me to complain about a fight I might have had with my husband. Twitter isn't necessarily the most appropriate venue for complaining either. I mean, how effectively can a person complain in 140 characters anyway?

The nice thing about a blog is that the likelihood of someone actually coming across this blog and reading my thoughts are slim to none. I highly doubt that I am going to become the next The Girl Who or Mamapundit. I know that I definitely won't have any type of following that would get me a book deal like they featured in the movie Julie & Julia. Anyway, what I'm here for is to become better. A better trainer, a better woman, a better wife, better all around. Maybe the loneliness of the Internet is just what I need to express myself freely and openly. I just need to try and remember that it is still possible that someone might actually read this. And if someone does read this blog, please accept my apologies in advance. You might not get anything from it. You might get bored of reading about my trips to the gym, what I may or may not have cooked for dinner, whether I actually read that professional development book that I've been meaning to read for 3 months, and whether or not I'm succeeding at my job.

But maybe, just maybe I'll find out a thing or two about myself through this whole blog-o-sphere. I've learned a lot about myself from Twitter, so maybe I can learn about myself through my random postings. Either way - here I am world. Help me understand you so I might be able to better understand me.